This One Might Even Make the PETA Folks Happy
So let me get started here. I don’t have anything against white mice; so if you own one as a pet, don’t try bashing me in my Guestbook. But I will say this; they do not exist in nature. White Mice were specifically bred for the purposes of “testing”.

Many people believe that animal testing in cruel, and that we should stop doing it. But I don’t exactly want to get into that right now. I do however have an idea that I think will make them happy.

What we have here are millions of white mice bred every year. Again, let me point out millions of these creatures that do not exist in nature that we are going out of our way to breed. Now here’s my idea.

We should start pressing laboratories to begin testing products using endangered species. Now before you get your panties all in a bunch hear me out. If they start using endangered species, then suddenly there will be a market for breeding these things by the millions.

Even as you read this, there are only about 3,000 Bengal Tigers in the wild. And that number diminishes every year. Some researchers have suggested that it is already too late to rescue these beautiful creatures. And that’s where my idea comes in.

We could have labs scrambling to buy Bengal Tigers by the thousands. I’ll be almost overnight we could have the total population into the millions! And there’s even an added bonus for the animal rights people.

Just imagine the scenario: There’s a scientist and a lab assistant in a lab, and they are testing the latest improvement to Palmolive, (“it’s more than just mild, you’re soaking in it”). For their latest round of tests they need to determine if it is still an eye irritant.

Scientist: “Okay Bob, we need to put a few drops into the subject’s eye and measure the reaction.”

Lab Assistant (Bob): “Okay Ted... eh... where are the mice?”

Scientist (Ted): “Oh, no, we’re not using mice anymore. You’ll have to use that Bengal Tiger in the cage over there.”

Bengal Tiger: “Grrrrr”

Bob: “gulp…”

Ted: [Handing an eyedropper to Bob] “Yeah, we want to get this test in before he eats so that we get a real good reaction.”

Bob: [Facing Ted, but eyeing the Tiger sideways] “Well, what do you think? Do you think it’s gonna sting him or not...?”

Ted: [Still holding out eyedropper] “Hard to tell. The last hundred versions all stung the mice… but this version is different, we’ve added a new chemical that will make the soap anti-bacterial.”

Bengal Tiger: [Staring directly at Bob] “Grrrr”

Bob: [Stepping away from the cages toward the dropper] “Gee, Ted, it seems a shame to go right to animal testing... maybe I could just put a little in my eye and see how that goes...”

Hey is it me, or does this thing seem to be working out for everyone? Ted finds out whether or not the new soap stings; Bob doesn’t get mauled by a ferocious Bengal Tiger; Bengal Tigers as a species don’t go extinct; and the Bengal Tiger in my scenario doesn’t get his eye stung. Its perfect!

Now if I could just sell the idea to some of those fat cat pharmaceutical companies!

In case you are interested, here are some other sites on Bengal Tigers:

Bengal Tiger Tours

Animals Of The Rainforest

And here is a picture of Anthony's dog, Buddy: