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"I Pledge Allegiance..." With the nation in turmoil, everyone is scrambling to the Big K-Mart to pick up an American Flag. And of course, my neighbor down the street got one so big, it covers half his front porch. Now, being a good American, (and of course a competitive neighbor), I wanted to display my patriotism as well. So I ran down to the Big K-Mart only to find that I was too late - they were sold out of flags. I received the same report at the next four stores I visited (Wal-Mart; Walgreens, Target and Khols). Believe me, for the next week, I looked everywhere - but I couldn't seem to find an American Flag anywhere. Actually, that's not entirely true. Everytime I tune into CNN I see people from all over the world burning American Flags! Can some one Tell m why does it seem that citizens in other countries have American Flags to burn, but right here in the good old US of A, a patriot can't find one single flag to proudly hang out front of his home! You know, I don't even have any idea where I could even find an other nation's flag to burn if I wanted to! As a matter of fact I probably wouldn't even know their flag looked like anyhow. The guy at the Home Depotcould sell me the Nevada State Flag and I wouldn't know the difference! But don't get me started about Nevada! That's a rant for another time. So getting back to my problem of not having an American flag. Saturday Lisa and I were painting the living room. It was originally off white, and now we're painting it so that it is off white again. But this time its off in a different direction. Honestly - I don't make this stuff up! I'm puttin on the paint and I can't tell the difference. So as I'm painting, and staring across the street at my neighbor's bigger-than-life flag waving right in my face, I remembered something. The previous owner of my house had left an American Flag in the garage. Even though it has been over eight years, I know that it's still there. So I dropped my roller and off to the garage I went. Now the flag was old; it had gold fringe trim; and it had a small stain on one of the white stripes. But this is war, and sacrifices have to be made. Sure enough, there in the back of the garage is Old Glory. I unfurled her and hung her on the porch. (I've always liked that word, "unfurled". Say it with me... "Unfurled". Maybe later we can discuss if you "re-furl" a flag when you put it away). Now like I said, the flag had been in the garage for at least eight years. So I looked her over real well. For one thing the flag didn't quite look long enough. You know, it could use another 7-8 inches of width, (someone suggested that it might have been a parade flag). And the stain, possibly paint, was just as I remembered it. But as I said, this is war and we have to make sacrifices. So I hung it up. Although it wasn't the most handsome flag on the block, I was still proud of it. I even moved the spotlights in the front of the house to shine on my flag all through the night. I'm also a little lazy and didn't want to have to take it down every night. So, Sunday we're finishing up painting and I get the call. From that same neighbor down the street. He says to me, "Hey buddy, what's with the flag?" Of course I know where he's going with this so I try to cut him off, "I know, I know; it's a little short. As soon as K-Mart gets some new ones in, I'll have one just like yours - okay?" I'm hoping this will be the end it. He says, "You bet it's short, it only has 48 stars. What's wrong, you have something against Hawaii and Alaska?" I didn't respond; instead I ran out the front door, cordless phone in one hand, paint roller in the other. Sure enough eight columns by six rows, thats only 48 stars! I swear that he stole two stars just to make me look bad. So now my flag still waves proudly out front of my house. I know that Alaska and Hawaii were the last two states to join the union, and in my heart, their stars are right there on the flag. It's the stars of two other states that I imagine NOT being there. Of course if you know me you know that I don't see a star for Nevada. As I see it, land-bound seas don't need stars. And one day I will get permission to create my idea for the "Nevada Sea" or the "BillOcean" as I like to think of it. But again, that's a rant for another time. |
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| Just for reference, here is the Afghanistan flag according to a source on the Internet... |
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Copywrite Bill O'Reilly, 2001
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