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Does This Think Really Break Down by Accident?
Updated October 24, 2004
Oops, It Broke Down Again...
Well the Mars rover is in the news again. It seems that NASA has "lost
contact" with it for several days now. You know, for $850 million you would
think that they would at least send it up there with one of those prepaid
phone cards for just such an emergency. I can just picture the NASA
communications engineer now: standing there in a white jacket; and holding a
clipboard. He’s probably wearing a pair of high-tech headphones with a boom
mike and leaning over a 50 bazillion dollar communications computer console;
frantically trying to communicate with the rover. "Can
you hear me now...? Can you hear me now...?"
Of course we all know what really happened. The rover saw something
that it wasn’t supposed to see, and the ultra-secret shadow government shut it
down before it could transmit the image. Now here’s what is going to happen
next: the MiBs will take a small circle of folks at NASA aside and debrief
them; they will purge the offending images from the database; they will warn
the NASA folks not to tell anyone what they saw; and in a few days they will
allow NASA to reestablish contact.
Then, right on schedule, the batteries on the rover will run out and the
mission will be officially over. Of course the rover will sit on Mars
with its solar cells pointed toward the sun recharging the batteries for about
the next 6 months. Then at the flick of a switch, somewhere deep in the
shadow government command center, the rover comes back on line and starts
communicating again; but this time on a scrambled secure channel. And as far
as the engineers at NASA are concerned it remains dead. Notice, I'm not saying
that they faked the Mars landing, unlike the
Moon Landing; I'm not crazy or
anything.
And you know that that rover thing is going to make a bee-line directly for
either the giant face on Mars or the pyramids. I mean, come on really, let me
ask a few questions and you figure out the answers:
1. Scientists have told us that every Joe Palooka with a telescope can
see ice on the poles of Mars. If the government is really looking for water
on Mars why not go where everyone already knows that
water
exists?
2. The rover has solar cells and batteries – why can’t the solar cells
recharge the batteries? We have satellites that have been working in orbit
for decades using nothing but 1970s era solar cells for power. Do you mean to
tell me that in 2004 we can’t get this thing to run for more than a few weeks
using solar cells and batteries?
Oh, this thing stinks to the high heavens of a massive shadow
government conspiracy. What aren’t they telling us about Mars people? What
are they hiding? Is that rover even on Mars? How do we know that it isn’t
somewhere in the deserts of Nevada (soon to be beachfront property)? Don’t
worry dear reader, I’m on the case. If there is something fishy going on here
then mark my words, I’ll find out. And you will be the first to know about
it.
Unless they catch me first – then I’ll just disappear.
But let me know if you think I'm nuts.
Billo
Copyright 2004, Bill O'Reilly
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