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Now They Want to go (Back?) to the Moon
What is this all about? Did someone decide that every 40 years or so we
should fake a trip to the Moon just to see if anyone is paying attention?
Alright we all know that in the 1960s the government faked several Moon
landings – and then when people started getting a little ho-hum about it they
even constructed the first "Space Drama" with Apollo 13. But now they’re
saying that they want to go to the Moon for real.
Personally, I think it sounds like a lot of fun. Hey, as a kid everyone
wanted to grow up to be an astronaut. All of the cool TV shows even had
astronauts in them; for instance the Six Million Dollar Man and I Dream of
Genie. But the problem, as always, is who is going to pay for this (the
taxpayers), and what benefits will we, the taxpayer get from this endeavor?
It always seems as though "The Man" gets the biggest payback out of this.
Taxpayers fund the R&D to reverse engineer computers, transistors, and silicon
chips (from Crashed UFOs), and then Sony, Intel,
Boeing and a dozen or more other firms make mega fortunes selling it all back
to us. What we need is another way to fund this stuff without bilking the
taxpayer.
One way that we could make a couple million here and there is by giving the
super-rich rides on the Space Shuttle. That ought to ease some of the
burden. But I think that the real money maker is in Professional Sports.
Alright, stay with me on this one. First thing we do is: as quickly as
possible set up a small boxing ring inside of the Moon base. Bear in mind
that on the
Moon a 200 pound boxer only weighs 33 pounds. Now imagine Mike Tyson
pummeling another boxer so hard that the boxer literally flies 30 feet through
the air. Now that is something that people back home on Earth
would be willing to pay for on Pay-Per-View.
Or imagine a low-gravity Superbowl! We would have to make the playing field a
lot bigger than 100 yards. Players could easily kick a 150 yard field goal.
And if you don’t like the Halftime Show you can just throw
Sting out of the air-lock.
Basketball would be even better. Exceptionally tall people could actually be
at a disadvantage. The average height of a MBA (Moon Basketball
Association) player could easily be 5 foot. Anyone could do a dunk shot. And
forget the 3-point line, we would have to institute a 4 and 5 point line.
And NASA could clean up on both the ticket sales, (for anyone rich enough to
go to the events). Not to mention that they have exclusive rights to the
whole performance. The advertising dollars alone
would be enormous, (and a whole lot better than that
bake sale idea that I had before). I’m telling you, mark it down now;
whether it is professional sports or something else, our journey to the
planets will have to be funded through entertainment dollars.
Or I could be wrong.
Billo
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