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And Now They Want to Outsource the White-Collar
Jobs
Updated December 8th, 2004
We’ve only just
recovered after they outsourced all of the manufacturing jobs. Some of those
folks retrained for other careers; while others took
early retirement; and
still others floundered about until they became old enough for plain old
retirement.
But when you think about it, it does make sense. If the average American
computer programmer makes $75,000 per year and the company knows that they can
hire computer programmers in other countries for $3,000 per year; then this is
a no-brainer. But where will this end?
I understand that China is now considering opening manufacturing plants in
America to take advantage of cheap American labor. There seems to be no end
in sight as this thing snowballs out of control.
And then as often happens - an idea hit me. Yes dear reader, a way that we
can stop this backward slide, and actually get a powerful group within America
to fight tooth and nail to keep jobs here, and even bring jobs back.
We need to start outsourcing in another profession. We need to start
outsourcing attorneys. Think about it. We’ve got
these attorneys billing
$250/hour and the entire country feels as though they are bleeding us dry.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could outsource these bastards?
Imagine if for $250/hour you could have a dozen highly educated and hungry
attorneys in another country busting their asses like crazy to work on your
case. They would file motions, make appeals and remotely present your case to
the judge. These guys would be relentless and they would be willing to make
deals with you.
Suddenly everyone in the country can afford to sue big tobacco, McDonalds,
Congress or anyone who tries to convince you that you can't
believe it's not butter. Do you want to subpoena the
classified records regarding the Roswell UFO crash? For $200 you can have 7
attorneys in India file 12 class action suits against the NSA, CIA, FBI,
Congress, NASA, DOD, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines and every other government
entity from FEMA to the National Park Rangers.
And who will work to put a stop to all this madness? Who will make it more
difficult to outsource good talent? Who will appeal to the
President, Congress, the
Democrats, the Republicans and Ralph
Nadir to make outsourcing
illegal? I’ll tell you who – the fat cat lawyers living large right here in
the good old USA that’s who.
I just picture those fat cats hanging on for dear life when the outsource
lawyers come circling in like vultures. You bet the farm that these folks
will stop at nothing to protect their fat butts from being outsourced. If you
want to save your job, then you had better start pushing to get outsourced
attorneys today.
But if you have a better idea then I’d like to hear
about it.
Billo
Copyright 2004, Bill O'Reilly
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