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Where Does All That Steam Come From?
Updated March 16, 2004
Sure These Thoughts SEEM Random
Now that I’m back to working in Center City Philadelphia I’m starting to notice
strange things. Like, the other day it was 14F degrees outside, and I noticed
a standing pool of water on a manhole cover. This surprised me. The bitter
air was cold enough to freeze the boogers inside of my nose, but somehow this
standing pool of water remained unfrozen. I decided to ask a co-worker for an
explanation. He suggested that it could be all the steam rising from
underground.
Which leads to my big question: Does anyone know where all this steam comes
from? Around every corner, there are vents billowing huge plumes of steam
into the air. Did the founding fathers build Philadelphia over a volcano or
something? Is there a subterranean civilization below Philadelphia living off
tea and steamed vegetables? Can’t we harness all of this steam and generate
power? I’ll bet we could generate enough power to put the electric company
out of business. If anyone knows of an explanation for all the steam, I would
love to hear it.
Is there more than one way to skin a dog? And what kind of society were we
living in when we accepted the expression: “There is more than one way to skin
a cat” as a simple truth, and not an admission of animal cruelty?
Have you ever noticed that people everywhere think that they are surrounded by
idiots; and that all of the smart people live somewhere else? I’ll show you
what I mean. Every time it snows I hear people say:
"No one around here knows how to drive in the snow. In (fill in the
blank: Chicago; Buffalo; Boston) they know how to drive in the snow."
Or even, "If you want a good (nightclub; sports team; bowl of chili;
museum; topless bar; cup of coffee; high colonic; place to raise kids;
pineapple; ghost story; local music scene) then you have to go to (
Dallas; Salem; Cleveland; Seattle; Los Angeles; Cincinnati; Washington DC;
Pismo Beach; Memphis; Tucson; Newark)".
Do you suppose that in other places they say the same things about Philadelphia?
Wouldn’t it be amazing if people in Buffalo said to each other, "As soon as
the first flake of snow drops everyone around here forgets how to drive. In
Philadelphia, they know how to drive in the snow"?
How come dead flies don’t stick to the wall? A fly can buzz along at like
1,000 mph then come to an instant stop; upside down on a piece of wet glass
without falling off. Yet, once they are dead, that’s it, they don’t stick to
anything. Maybe its magnets.
Ever notice when people don’t understand how something works they automatically
attribute it to magnets? “That 500 mph train in Japan, I don’t know how it
works exactly, but I think it has something to do with magnets.”
Or, “I seen that thar Flyin’ flying saucer come a’ careening ‘cross the ma winter
wheat field, and it did'net make a soun’. I thin’ it’s a runnin’ on mag-a-nets
or sumfun.”
Or maybe its just me.
Billo
Copyright 2004, Bill O'Reilly
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