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I Do Not Look Like Fred Flintstone!
All right, I know I’m not in my 20s any longer, and I may have put on a few pounds in the past year, but I’m not that far gone yet.
So this past summer I was looking to buy a surfboard. I’ve always wanted one, and I figured that now I’m old enough so what’s gonna stop me? Well, the $400 price tag slowed me down pretty quick. I mean, come on now, its just foam and plastic right? In another form, it’s the same stuff you throw out after you unpack your new DVD player. And beside, for that kind of money I could get a really good cup of coffee.
Well since we were at the beach last week, I wanted to look for winter sales, and the whole topic came up again, and that’s when I got hit with, “What do you think you are going to do on a surfboard?”
“Surf”, I answered simply. What happened next scarred me so deeply, that I will have to live with it every day for the rest of my life.
She said, “You’re a middle-aged, out-of-shape man who has no reason to be on a surfboard.”
My jaw hit the floor, as the sudden expulsion of all the air in my lungs knocked over the kids. “You think I’m FAT and OLD!”
And by way of trying to comfort me she said, “No, what I mean is that you remind me of Fred Flintstone.”
About this time, the kids were just getting back to their feet, when whoosh, they were knocked over by another sudden expulsion of air.
There were retractions and clarifications, but no matter what I have to live with the image of Fred Flintstone’s body with my face on it for the rest of my life.
Billo
Copyright 2002, Bill O'Reilly
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