Time on Your Hands?

Too Much Time On Your Hands?

Home
Rants! Rants! Rants!
Random Thoughts
Margaritas and Other Recipies

The New Rant Is Here!! - 3/15/2002

Maybe YOU Have Too Much Time On YOUR Hands!

First of all, let me start off by saying that if you have recently told me that I have too much time on my hands - this is not about you. This rant has been YEARS in coming so don’t think that you were the impetus.

(You have no idea how long I’ve been dying to use that word “impetus”. Come on, say it with me… impetus – nice.)

I just love that phase; “You have too much time on your hands”. It not only suggests that your accomplishments are insignificant, but also that the speaker is much too busy doing much more important things to ever join-in in the same frivolous activities as you.

But exactly what is a frivolous activity? Well I’ve composed a list to help you out there. Below is:

“Billo’s List of Activities Enjoyed by People Who Have Too Much Time On Their Hands”.

You could read it like Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck" list. Except this one would read:

You might have too much time on your hands if you’ve ever…
Baked a chocolate Birthday Cake with cream cheese icing
Seen an episode of the Three Stooges
Seen an episode of: M*A*S*H; Seinfeld; Simpsons; 60 Minutes; or 60 Minutes II

If you have ever:
Watched a movie
Watched anything on MTV
… then you might have too much time on your hands.

If you have ever caught yourself:
Writing a letter
Writing a book
Reading a book
Reading the newspaper
… then you have too much time on your hands.

You might have too much time on your hands if you have ever:
Painted anything
Listened to music
Learned to play a musical instrument
Made stained glass
Done Needlepoint
Knitted

If you have ever ripped 100 CDs from your computer to your MP3 player...
... you might have too much time on your hands.

If you have ever:
Walked anywhere
Danced
Golfed (...you spend half of a day driving a play car through a field occasionally pausing to put a ball into a hole in the most inefficient means ever conceived!)
Built a sandcastle
Arranged flowers
Looked at a fish tank
...then you might want to consider that you might have too much time on your hands.

Other warning signs that you are not optimizing the time on your hands include if you have ever:
Been to a flea market or garage sale
Shopped for shoes
Shopped for something you didn’t buy
Tried on more than one outfit before going out
Talked to a neighbor

You might be wasting time that could otherwise be spent finding world peace if you have ever:
Gone out to dinner
Gone on a cruise
Gone to a spa
Gone on vacation

Consider if you have ever:
Fixed anything around the house
Worked out
Mowed the lawn
Cleaned your car
... that you probably have too much time on your hands.

Some people might question your motivation if you have ever:
Been to a museum
Been to a Renaissance Fare
Birdwatched
Or if you have ever gone Spelunking

If you find yourself with the time to watch:
World’s Strongest Man competitions on ESPN2
Lumberjack competitions on ESPN2
ANYTHING on ESPN2
Any sports on live or on TV

Sports at the stadium
Or if you have ever tailgated at the stadium
... then you MIGHT have too much time on your hands.

You might want to do a little soul searching if you have ever:
Played a board game
Played chess
Played checkers
Played a video game
Played Pool

And finally if you have time to read this rant, then you definitely have too much time on you hands!

Love and kisses,
Billo